Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
