Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
