So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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