Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
