Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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