so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
