tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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