JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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