Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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