SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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