It's Friday. Sex?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
