I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
