I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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