I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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