For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize