sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
