Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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