so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
