You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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