this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
