He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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