Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
