I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
