I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
