i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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