her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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