Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
