She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
