Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
