You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dick very happy bro
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