why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize