She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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