no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
