Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
where does the pee come out of this thing
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she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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