mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
