Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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