i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
