I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
