I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
