my phone needs a breathalizer
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
