oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
