Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
