I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
