Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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