Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
