Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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