Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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