Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
