If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
