Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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