His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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