Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
