Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I cockslap morals
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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