i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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