He felt like a one man threesome
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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