I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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