is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
