I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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