marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
